In the Land of Sorrow
by darkangel9314
Summary: When Elena's husband Damon is killed in the line of battle, she couldn't be more devastated. Now a grieving widow with three children to take care of and a mind full of memories. Can Elena find the strength to live again? or will her dreams stay forever in the ashes?
1. Chapter 1

In the Land of Sorrow

Chapter 1

Elena Gilbert never thought in a million years that she would end up here. Usually she loved suiting in churches to just pray and think about lives many mysteries, but she never thought she would be here for a funeral of someone who had literally saved her life.

Tears flowed down Elena's cheeks as she prayed to God for the pain to stop. She heard that over time the pain would get better, but pain was the worst feeling in the world. On a scale from one to ten this pain was an eleven threatening to consume her and take her down with it. Why did he have to die? That was one thing she would never know. Now all she had left of Damon was memories.

She looked down at the folded up flag on her lap and cried with a sad smile. Ten beautiful years of her life had been shattered with one bullet. A bullet that Damon had no doubt took with honor. Elena looked up to the sky with tears rushing down her face. She would never forget Damon Salvatore and the memories would always be there consuming her like as if they had just happened yesterday.

Five years earlier

Elena extended her arm to place away yet another book on the shelf. Usually she loved working at her little book shop, but she hated when customers never put them back in there right place. It shouldn't have annoyed her that much but somehow it did. She sighed and climbed off the ladder only to be surprised by a man when she came down. In the midst of all her complaining she hadn't noticed the man and his piercing blue eyes, but there was something about him that peaked Elena's interest.

"Oh hello there. Is there something I can help you with?"

"I'm sorry if this offends you, but has anyone told you you're beautiful."

She laughed. She had plenty of men tell her that before, but they had never been so blunt about it before.

"Some have actually, but I actually don't keep count. Hi, I'm Elena Gilbert."

"Damon Salvatore."

Elena smiled as she shook his hand. He had a firm grip which Elena loved in a man.

"So Damon Salvatore is there anything I could help you with?"

"Yes actually. I'm going back to base in a couple of days and I need a little light reading until we get our orders. You know just to pass the time."

"You're in the army."

"Air Force actually, but that was a good guess."

"Well Mr. Salvatore. Do you prefer the classics?"

"I can be a huge fan of the classics yes."

"I'll see what I can do for you."

He smiled at her as Elena went to go find him a book earning her an eye roll from Caroline. Elena never understood why Caroline was so bitter, but Elena always had better luck with the guys. Elena found the book she was looking for and headed back to Damon handing the boom over.

"The Scarlet Letter. Interesting choice." He said smiling.

"Well it will give you and your unit something to discuss."

"Good call."

"Anything else I could do for you Damon?"

"Well I am here for a couple more days and you seem like a very interesting person. I would like to take you out on a date. If you don't mind my asking."

Elena grabbed the book back from damon and opened it up to the card they kept in there with checkout information and wrote her number down.

"I would love that Mr. Salvatore. Call me sometime and maybe we could arrange something."

Damon smirked and gave her a quick goodbye before leaving.

"Are you crazy? Could you be anymore desperate?" Caroline said flipping through the pages of her book.

"Oh Caroline stop being such a Debbie downer. He seemed really nice and I would like to give him a chance."

"Whatever you say Elena whatever you say."

Elena rolled her eyes and glanced out the store window. She didn't know what it was about Damon Salvatore, but she couldn't wait to get to know him better.


	2. Chapter 2

In the Land of Sorrow

Author's note: I had accidently put five years earlier in the first chapter when it was actually ten I'm sorry about that.

Chapter 2

Elena clutched the tissue in her hand as she wiped her eyes with it. She had to stop torturing herself. She had kids and a life to get back to. A life that didn't involve her husband Damon by her side. Elena was about to go home when a priest showed up and sat down beside her.

"What is wrong my child?"

"I have just lost my husband father."

"I am sorry to hear that my child. Sometimes God needs us a little earlier than expected."

"Why would you say that to me? I'm hurting you stupid bastard!"

"Tell me more about your husband. Tell me a memory that makes you happy and not a memory that crushes your soul from the inside out."

Elena nodded remembering that day like it was just yesterday

Ten years ago

Elena smoothed the wrinkles out of her dress as she looked at Damon Salvatore sitting down at what soon would be there table. She hoped the light blue dress she had picked out hadn't been too much. She took a deep breath and closed the space between her and Damon praying that she wouldn't trip and embarrass herself. Unfortunately fate wasn't on her side as a waiter accidently hit her with a tray and sent her flying into Damon Salvatore's lap clinging to his neck for dear life so she wouldn't fall any further. So much for not embarrassing herself.

She exhaled and looked into Damon's gorgeous blue eyes fluttering her eyelashes like some stupid school girl. All she could think about were his lips on hers though. Talk about a hot fantasy.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I'm tough. I can handle it."

He sat up and helped her into her seat. She smoothed out the non existent wrinkles in her dress as she observed Damon. Thankfully Damon helped ease her worries and by the hour mark of their date she had forgotten all about the previous incident.

They were now walking along the boardwalk.

"So I do have a question." He said as they were walking hand in hand.

"I'm all for it."

"Who is Elena Gilbert?"

"The truth is Elena Gilbert is a pre-med student who works in a book store part time because she loves books and it's a way to pay for the expensive med school bills."

"So what do you want in life?"

"The truth is I don't know what I want."

"That's not true. You want what everyone wants."

"Alright. I'll play. What do I want Mr. Salvatore?"

Damon stepped forward so that they were nearly inches apart.

"You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure and even a little danger. "

She looked at him breathing heavily. She knew exactly what she wanted, but she wanted him to say it.

"So what do you want?"

He leaned forward and kissed her. It was the most amazing kiss and she found herself wanting more than just random kissing.

"You didn't answer the question. What do you want?" she asked whispering.

"I want you."

Before Elena knew it they were halfway across town in his hotel room. Elena shoved Damon into a nearby wall and kissed him and kissed him and really kissed him. She broke Damon's kiss and ripped off his shirt watching as all the buttons flew off. She hoped he wasn't fond of that shirt.

He flipped their positions over so she would be pressed against the wall but she didn't mind it the least bit. She knew sex on the first date was kind of tacky, but she just couldn't help herself. He tore off her dress throwing it to the floor and she pushed him on his bed hovering over him so that she would be in control. She kissed him and he flipped her over on his bed. Their kisses continued as Damon and Elena finally gave into their deepest and darkest desires.

Elena snapped back into reality and sat up.

"I have to go."

Elena ran out of the church as she left to go return to her life without Damon.


	3. Chapter 3

In the Land of Sorrow

Chapter 3

Elena took in the fresh October air as she shut her car door and walked up to the house that her and Damon had spent a fortune on owning. She smiled at the memories her and Damon had made there and cried over the ones that they would never have together. She hated that Damon wasn't there to watch their kids grow up and start their own families. He should have been there and she knew in her heart that she knew it was right.

She sighed brushing away the tears that had formed on her cheeks and put on the smile she always wore when she was around her kids. Bonnie was inside watching a movie with Grayson and Miranda. Elena and Damon two beautiful children who they had named after Elena's adopted parents.

Elena smiled as she looked at both of her kids features. Grayson had inherited Elena's brown hair that looked lighter when the light shinned on it, but he had Damon's gorgeous blue-green eyes. She had loved those eyes. Then she looked at her daughter Miranda who had her father's black hair and her eyes.

Both her kids were the perfect reflection of both her and Damon. Just looking at them made her want to cry again, but then she breathed for just a while longer. She knew what she had to do.

The priest had told Elena to focus on a happier time, so that's exactly what she was doing. It was a way that she could cope with the horrible fact that her husband was gone. Elena breathed and closed her eyes to the last perfect day with her family.

6 months earlier

Sunlight filled the room as Elena rolled over on the bed and onto her husband's chest. She always loved the feel of him beside her and she hated it when he was away. Elena yawned snuggling closer by her husband's side. She looked up opening her eyes for the first time that day only to stare into his blue ones.

She smiled and gave him a small kiss on the lips. He flipped them over so he would be on top of her and smiled as he continued to kiss her. She loved Damon Salvatore with all her heart and nothing would ever tear them apart. He pulled away from her and kissed her neck like he always did when he wanted to turn her on.

"Good morning my beautiful wife." He said breaking his kisses.

"Good morning my gorgeous husband."

His lips touched hers again and she smiled. She was still smiling when their kids had barged in and climbed into bed with them. Miranda was the oldest and was now six while her brother was four. They were Elena and Damon's whole world and that would never change.

Damon picked up Miranda and put her on his lap. Ever since the moment she was born Miranda had always had Damon wrapped around her little finger and the years had proved not to change a single thing about that fact.

Elena smiled as she stroked her son's hair. It was always so soft. She loved her little family and couldn't wait until they expanded on it. Damon and Elena had already decided to try and have another child last night and she couldn't wait to make that fantasy a reality.

Elena brought herself back to reality as Miranda saw her and a smile spread across her face.

"Mommy!" Miranda said as she threw herself into Elena's arms followed by a less vocal Grayson.

He hadn't been talking as much ever since his dad died. It broke Elena's heart to see them in so much pain at a young age. She hugged her children with all her might like it would be the last time because unfortunately they never knew when the last time would be.


	4. Chapter 4

In the Land of Sorrow

Chapter 4

Some days when Elena woke up she would like to look up at the ceiling and contemplate life, but now she had no idea as to how to do that. Ever since Damon had died it was like she was on pause while the rest of her life was on fast forward.

She hated ever excruciating second of it. Why did Damon have to leave her just as their lives were begging together? Why did she have to be alone through all this? She was still so young and so were her children. She couldn't even imagine what they were going through.

Elena wiped the tears from her eyes just as the doorbell rang. She hadn't been expecting guest today, but she felt like that was the norm when ones husband has just died. She threw the covers off her body and put on her robe not wanting to get dressed. She was finding it harder and harder to do that these days.

She shuffled across the floor approaching her front door as she opened it to her best friend Caroline. Of course Caroline would be there. Elena motioned for Caroline to come in as she grabbed two mugs for coffee. Dead husband or not Elena still wanted to be courteous.

She handed Caroline the other mug full of coffee and sat down beside her.

"How are you doing?" Caroline asked.

"How do you think?"

"I saw you taking to the priest after the funeral."

"Well I needed comfort."

"What did he say?"

"He advised me that everytime I get sad about Damon to think of a good memory between us."

"Okay, I'll take a bite at this. Do you remember the first time you ever told me that you two had sex?"

Elena smiled recalling the memory as if it were yesterday

Elena yawned as she took in her surrondings. She knew for sure that this wasn't her bedroom. Then images of what her and Damon did last night flooded through her and she turned slightly to see him snuggled closer to her.

If she thought Damon was hot before seeing him sleep and waking up next to him was twice as hotter. His eyes fluttered open as he smiled from ear to ear.

"Hmm, I don't know what I did to get a woman this sexy into my bed last night, but I think it had something to do with this."

He placed a few kisses on her neck that got her excited and flipped herself on top of him preparing for another round. She had lost track at how many times they actually had had sex last night, but when she looked at the clock she sprang back from the bed.

"Elena, What's wrong?"

"Shit. I'm so late for work. Caroline is going to kill me." she said while gathering her clothes from the night before.

"I'm sorry for running out on you like this." she said.

"It's fine. I understand that you have a life too."

She got dressed and gave him a long lingering kiss. She didn't know when she would see him again.

"I'll see you later." she said smiling.

"Wild coyotes couldn't keep me away." he said.

She gave him one last look before leaving and walking to the book store. She was so dead when Caroline got her hands on her. To say she wasn't happy was an understatement.

"The last time I checked Elena you were scheduled to come to work at eight. It's already twelve."

"I'm sorry Care. I had a long night."

Caroline looked at her as her eyes looked over Elena.

"Why are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday."

"Because I was late."

"Elena Gilbert I know you better than that. Did you want to try again?"

"Fine you caught me. I went on a date with Damon last night."

"That doesn't explain why you were late today and are wearing the same clothes. Unless. You didn't"

"Yes Caroline I did and it was amazing."

"Elena this isn't you. You don't have sex with random strangers."

"Damon is different. I can't explain it Caroline. He just has a way of making me feel different."

"Yeah he has a way of making you a fucking idiot. Now come on let's get back to work."

Elena sighed as she went back to work. It was obvious that Caroline didn't like Damon, but hopefully Elena could persuade her to think differently even if that day wasn't today.


	5. Chapter 5

In the Land of Sorrow

Chapter 5

Elena gripped the steering wheel as she looked both ways. She was driving the kids to school and ever since Damon had died she had been sure to be extra careful. She turned into the school and unlocked the car door so her kids could get out.

"See you later mom." Both her kids said as they raced to go meet their friends.

She was glad they still had their innocence. Even with their dad dying they had been mommy's little troopers ever since. Now all she had to do was be a trooper herself. Today was her first day back at work and she had to be strong.

She exhaled and drove to her new job as a personal assistant. She would always love working at the book store she just needed a little more money to support her two kids at the moment. So here she was as a personal assistant at one of the biggest modeling agencies in the city. It was like she was Anne Hathaway's character on The Devil Wears Prada. She just hoped her new boss wouldn't be like Meryl Streep.

She knocked on the bosses door and opened it. The office looked big and amazing. It almost intimidated Elena, but she knew she had to out on a brave face for her boss. After all first impressions were everything. Especially when it came to this line of business.

"Hello you just be Elena, my name is Rebekah Mikaelson."

Elena shook her new bosses hand and sat down ready for her orientation. Rebekah scribbled something down then looked back at her.

"What do you love about fashion the most?"

"I love how people can express themselves through their style."

Rebekah scribbled that down to and chewed on her pen slightly.

"Interesting take, but it's nothing that I haven't heard before."

Elena frowned slightly as Rebekah pushed a button.

"Rose, Mrs. Gilbert is here."

"I'll be right in Ms. Miakaelson."

Elena waited a few torturous minutes before Rose entered the room. She looked primped and polished. It made Elena feel as if she really didn't belong there.

"You called."

"I need you to show Mrs. Gilbert the ropes. I expect you'll do your very best. Both of you are dismissed and may return to work."

Elena nodded as she followed Rose outside ready to start her first day on the job.


	6. Chapter 6

In the Land of Sorrow

Chapter 6

It had been a while since Elena had woken up nauseous. She hardly ever got sick, but today just wasn't her day. As soon as she lifted her head, she ran to the bathroom and puked whatever was left in her stomach fro last night out.

She ran a hand over her mouth and flushed the toilet before brushing her teeth. She had a big day planned today and she didn't want anything to interfere with it. The last time she had had a plan for the day was the last day she had seen Damon alive. The day that changed her life forever.

Elena looked out the window as she sipped her coffee. It was the last day her and the kids had with Damon before he was deployed and she was determined to make it a special one. Sighing she put the coffee cup in the sink and tied up her hair in a bun before going outside to watch Damon and the kids play. He was so good with them. She didn't know how she had gotten so lucky.

He turned around and smiled at her as he walked over to her giving her a kiss. She lived for moment where she was just in his arms. She didn't want him to leave tomorrow. He had served his country for years. Why did he have to go another time. She just didn't understand.

She held onto him tightly as she watched their kids play. They looked so happy, but she knew they would be so torn up when their dad left again. She defiantly knew she would be. Which gave her the perfect idea.

She turned around and looked into Damon's smiling face. His eyes filled with so much love.

"How do you feel about going to our place today?"

He smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek. "I would love to. Hey kids! Pack up your suitcases were going to the cabin."

The kids faces lit up as they ran back in the house. The cabin was their favorite place in the world to be

It took them about an hour to get there, but when they did the kids were excited to get out of the car and fish with their dad. . Elena watched from the bridge and smiled. It was so peaceful here. She didn't know if things would be this peaceful again.

She sighed as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. She inhaled Damon's intoxicating scent and leaned into him. He felt so good. It was hard to imagine that she wouldn't have this for a while. She held onto him as tightly as possible until day turned to night.

Elena looked down at their daughter and tucked her in giving her a kiss as she turned off the light. Their son was already fast asleep and now these were the few precious hours were all her and Damon's.

She went to their rook eager to ravage herself with him. When she got to their room she was filled with lust for him as she climbed into the bed kissing every part of his body she could. He looked into her eyes and nodded as they took off their clothes and ravaged in each other's bodies. It was the best day of her life.

She gasped coming back to the present and grabbed her keys. Before she could do anything she had to check for something. She knew why she was sick now and if it was true she had no idea what would happen next.


	7. Chapter 7

In the Land of Sorrow

Chapter 7

They say that life can be measured by the moments that took their breath away and today was one of those days for Elena. As she waited for the go ahead to go see the doctor she taped her foot impatiently wondering what the hell was wrong with her. She had been puking up a storm for weeks with no indication of what was really wrong with her, so she had called a sitter for the kids and made the appointment. Now she sat in the office waiting to see what her doctor told her.

The door opened and Elena sat up as her doctor Josette Laughlin entered the room. She smiled at her and sat down next to her.

"Nice to see you Elena. It's been a while."

"Yes it has. So do you know what's wrong with me. I mean I've been puking for a couple of weeks."

"Well I do have answers for that."

"I do. Congratulations are in order, You're pregnant Elena."

"I'm sorry I'm what."

"Pregnant."

"How is that possible?"

"Well if I'm correct you got pregnant around the last time you and your husband had sex."

"That was nine weeks ago."

"That's how far along you are."

"This can't be happening."

"This is great news Elena."

"I can't jo I just can't."

"Elena I know that you think you can't but you can."

"I can't do this without him Jo. He was my husband."

"And this is your child. His child. Your last child together."

Elena touched her stomach as she started sobbing.

"I just miss him so much."

"I know sweetie I know."

"I just want him back."

"I know Elena. And it's okay to be sad, but you can't let it control your life Elena. You need to try and grieve him. You need to try and move on."

"You don't think I've been trying! I've been trying like fucking crazy! But every time I try to grieve him, every time I try to get him off my mind, I feel as if I'm gonna die. And I can't die on the inside Jo I won't make it."

"Elena look at me."

Elena looked at her through the tears in her eyes.

"Damon would want you to live. He would want you to take care of all your kids. You can do this Elena. You're strong. I know you are."

Elena inhaled through her tears as Jo took her in her arms to let her cry.

"You'll be okay, Elena, You'll be okay."


End file.
